“Amare Nesciri.”
Roughly translated, this means, “love to be unknown.”
I went through a phase in my early thirties where I walked around town wearing a pair of these:
Geta. Traditional Japanese sandals. Unwieldy things. They were made, so I am led to believe, for walking through rice fields. Often wet and muddy I imagine they were in that context quite practical. Going to Aldi’s? Not so much. Why did I do this? Two reasons, I think, although at the time I was not fully cognizant of either. One reason, and this may seem a bit weird, but I’ve always wanted to be a bit more of a weeb than I actually am. Lord knows I tried. I’m afraid however that I am simply a bit too much of a normie to be that into anime. The Miyazaki films are all brilliant of course, and Dragon Ball Z was fun, but all that is very “Level 1” weeaboo stuff. I could never attain the power levels where listening to Ho-kago Tea Time was a daily activity. I thought I could get there, I did have a katana in high school after all, but no. Didn’t make it. Knew of a fellow who would sit in the park with a towel wrapped around his head as though he were a sushi chef. That was true weeaboo power. Could never attain it personally.
The other reason though, and the more pressing one, was that I wanted to do something embarrassing. I have never been one much to respond to social shame. You can’t really be a “truther” and care that much what other people think of you. All the same, I still had some of that in me, and I wanted to beat it to death. I always admired people who could walk around completely unconcerned with what others thought of them. I wasn’t sure why I admired them, but I did, and I wanted to be like them.
So, sometimes I wore stupid shoes.
Other times, I went out and about in somewhat silly hats. This one for example, was a favorite:
Once or twice I even went out shopping in my bathrobe. Nothing underneath but my underwear. Just to get brave enough to do it. My wife never liked these behaviors. She wouldn’t go out with me while I was in my bathrobe. Perhaps my favorite outfit was cowboy boots, jeans, black cowboy hat, yellow sunglasses, and, wait for it… NASA space jacket. White, puffy, emblems and US Flags on it and everything. That one almost looked cool. I could’ve pulled it off if I was a rapper or something. Kanye would’ve looked good doing it. That reminds me, I haven’t seen my NASA jacket in a while. Wonder where it is?
So, anyway, St. Philip Neri used to shave only half his face. Imagine how silly that looked. Full beard on the right side, clean shaven on the left. He would be invited to parties, some quite fancy, and purposefully do something to make a fool of himself. This was his spiritual exercise, done for much the same reasons that I wore weeaboo sandals. Philip was always going about muttering to his disciples, Amare Nesciri. “Love to be unknown.”
At first blush this may seem paradoxical. After all, shaving half your face or wearing only a bathrobe is in some ways the opposite. You’re making something of a spectacle of yourself on purpose. You’re trying to be laughed at. But “love to be unknown” as Philip used the term, meant something close to, “don’t seek status from others.” “Don’t care if you are held in high esteem.” The Amish Catholic had a good write up about St. Philip here. I recommend it. The Amish Catholic and St. Neri are correct when they point out that too often Christianity has been focused on “mortification of the flesh” to the exclusion of mortification of the ego. Fancy terms if you’re not familiar with them, but all mortification of the flesh means is developing the ability to deny the physical passions. Fasting for example, denies the impulse of hunger. Abstinence denies the impulse of lust. And so on. All good as far as it goes but what about denying the desire to be liked? To be respected? As Jesus said, “Woe to you, when all people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets.”
Think about it for a moment.
Who does this world hold up as worthy of praise? Who does it make famous? Who does it laud? Do you really want to be like them? Kim Kardashian? Cardi B? Do you really think God is calling you to be like Miley Cyrus or Steve Jobs or Warren Buffet? Is it his plan for you to be like Nancy Pelosi? Jason Momoa?
Nothing against any of these people. I just think that, if you were honest with yourself and looked around, you’d conclude that fame and worldly respect has very little correlation with being Good. Heck, increasingly it has very little correlation with even being talented. What does this world admire? Gathering immense wealth like Jeff Bezos? Jesus had things to say about rich men. Their prospects were not good. Being a sex symbol like Brittney Spears? Again, doubtful Christ would encourage you to go in this direction. Amassing political power? Well, he appeared first to shepherds and his best friends were fishermen. So…
Adam and Eve ate of the fruit of The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Then, what happened? They were afraid. They saw that they were naked? They rushed to make clothes. Why?
Because the ancient meaning and understanding of “good” and “evil” was not moralistic. I mean, it was, but not in the way we use it. Evil was the same as weakness. Good was the same as strength. If you look back far enough into the etymology and translation of these words you will see that. When Adam and Eve had “their eyes opened” by eating the fruit, they suddenly became aware of their own vulnerabilities. Prior to eating the fruit, the knowledge, the idea, that they might be physically harmed in some way had literally never entered their heads. And, ironically, because it hadn’t, they couldn’t be harmed. They lived completely with God, walking with him daily, without fear. And this allowed them to exist without pain or even the specter of it. Ah… but then they ate. They saw what could, in theory, happen. And they were afraid. Fear. The polar opposite of faith.
In a sense the moment they were made aware of Evil, of weakness, of the possibility of damage and death… they lived into it. By fearing it they made it real. Why? Because the fear cut them off from God. This is why, this is the entire reason why, ***faith*** is insisted on in the Bible. It’s not an arbitrary ask. None of the spiritual life is arbitrary. It all makes sense. All of it is a cohesive whole.
Listen to me:
The very instant you live in perfect faith, you will never die. The fear of evil will depart and with it the possibility of any weakness, for they are the same thing.
According to the scriptures Enoch did it. Elijah did it too. The rest of us maybe have to go through the whole dying process to get there. No matter. It is also possible for us.
Sin, evil, it’s just weakness. It’s the same thing, literally, as disease. A diseased body is a manifestation of the exact same evil that a lustful heart is plagued by. Both of them are, ultimately, a weakness born from fear. A lack of faith.
Perhaps that seems a bold claim. So be it, it is the claim of Christianity. Why do you think, before he healed people physically, that Christ so often said, “your sins are forgiven?” Because, truly, the sin is the cause of the illness. If you were perfect you would never be sick. You aren’t. I’m not either. So we get colds and Lou Gehrig's and so on. Evil. Sin. Weakness. Disease. Death. They are the same thing. Goodness. Strength. Life. Health. Truth. These are the same thing too.
Which is stronger? The man who can sleep with any woman in the world or the man who can resist the temptation to do so if given the opportunity? The Righteous is in control of himself. That’s why there is a tradition of denying the passions. It’s training. You’re building up this skill, this strength.
The world praises weakness. Always has. Always will. It is the upside down. The inversion. The world praises evil.
The world tells you that the man who is so afraid of everything that he needs 10 billion dollars around himself at all times to be his shield against the evils of the world is powerful. It will tell you that the woman who has such little self esteem that she makes herself into a whore on stage is to be admired. The world will try to paint the picture that actors, and businessmen, and politicians, and rich people, are strong. When, in reality, there is absolutely no one more enslaved by Babylon than they. You think, for example, that Biden is powerful? Look, he cannot walk anywhere in the world without 12 armed men protecting him for he is so hated. Can Trump just go to the park, by himself? No. But you can. You can walk anywhere freely and unafraid. You think Bezos or Joe Rogan can speak the truth when it matters? All it takes is one of their masters turning the spigot of their cash flow down just a hair, and they capitulate. That’s why all the actors and all the politicians and all the CEOs parrot the same lines, without any deviation. They have no power. They sold it all to be under the protection of the Dragon’s wing.
Listen again. Jesus knew what he was talking about. Everything he said was literally true. The meek really will inherit the earth. They always have. They always do.
You know who one of the fastest growing populations in America is right now?
The Amish.
And they don’t care if you know or praise them for it. In quiet humility they are taking over the country.
Amare Nesciri.
Love to be unknown.
So inspiring
Beautiful message.