Christianity In A Nut-Shell

The Religion You've Never Heard Of

Christianity is primarily about doing battle with the Nephilim.

I know.

I know.

A lot of you, somehow, somewhere, got the impression that Christianity was about “going to Heaven when you die” or “morality” or “sin.” Crazy ideas like that. And those things are important, sure. But they’re not the main focus of the religion. Or at least they shouldn’t be. I would go so far as to say that, if that’s the main focus of your Christianity, maybe consider that you’re doing it wrong? Not trying to be antagonistic here, it’s just… all that spiritual stuff. It’s not really supported by the Bible.

And, frankly, I think it tends to make people neurotic. Worrying about morality all the time.

You’ll never get Christianity if you think it’s just “a spiritual path.”

"And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed (offspring) and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel."

— Genesis 3:15

See?

Says it right there in the first couple of pages of the Book. Far from being a collection of mantras or spiritual teachings, the Bible primarily presents itself as a historical document detailing the War in Heaven and how that plays itself out on earth. Somehow or other, this all gets overlooked though. Probably just because it’s so weird. I mean, imagine, a good, proper Catholic woman, or an upstanding young WASP, going around, talking about the Nephilim? It just wouldn’t do. Religion is supposed to be sPiRiTuAL. Aethereal and otherworldly. Having your religion be literally about a genetic blood feud between Men and Serpents is, well… strange. At the very least, it sort of instantly pegs you as the sort of person who doesn’t listen to NPR. You’re not going to the garden parties.

Nonetheless, this is the situation we find ourselves in. Whether we like it or not, Christianity is about a “seed war.” Seed as in semen. Genetics. It is literally about a war to determine which species will inhabit the planet. Us, the homo sapiens, or the hybrids, those creatures who are part human, part fallen angel. You know, the giants of antiquity. The monsters. The things with human limbs and torsos but with heads like a jackal or a hawk. Cyclopes. Minotaurs.

Nephilim.

So the story goes that, in the long ago, before the world is as we find it now, before The Flood, some portion of the angels came down to earth and fathered (mothered also?) children with human beings. God frowned on this. He said explicitly not to do it but the angels didn’t listen. They were simply too horny. Yes, this is in the actual story. Literally embedded in the Biblical narrative is the idea that some portion of the angels looked around at Heaven and said, “Yeah, this is good an all, but what about sex?” And, in a way, who can blame them? Of course, that’s being a bit flippant. It doesn’t seem that their motivation was purely sexual, although that’s certainly part of it. It appears that some of the motivation to transgress in this manner was also a desire to maybe be closer to God? In a weird way? See, the angels seemed to have had some foreknowledge of God’s plan to incarnate as a human being and so some of the drive to impregnate women may have been a desire to also, in a way, incarnate themselves? To be as God, sorta, if that makes sense. In any case the motivations of the angels aren’t entirely spelled out and Love and War are complex affairs which are seldom monocausal. In any event, the story is clear that this happened. For whatever reason, angels rejected heaven to come sire children with human women. There’s some hints here and there that there might also be female angels who were impregnated by human men, but the story is less clear on that part. Regardless:

"The Nephilim were on the earth in those days - and also afterward - when the sons of God went to the daughters of Man and had children by them. These were the heroes of old, men of renown."

— Genesis 6:4

Now, at the center of all this is an entity named Azazel. He’s mentioned briefly in the Bible, although you have to know what you’re looking for to find him, but he plays a central role in the “apocryphal” Book of Enoch. I put apocryphal in scare quotes there because, while it’s technically true that Enoch isn’t canon, it is cited by other books which are Biblical canon, so it’s a book of a sort of “semi-official” status. Canon or no, the story goes that Azael is the leader of these fallen angels who come down to breed with humanity. Now, Azazel knows that what he’s doing is wrong, knows he will be punished, and knows that God disapproves. Regardless, he chooses to transgress anyway for reasons which, as I said, aren’t 100% clear.

This is a scary move for the angels mind you. The punishment for what they’re about to do will be severe and they know it. Like, locked in chains beneath the earth for all eternity level severe. They’re hesitant. It’s not the sort of thing any one of them wants to do alone. Strength in numbers after all. So, in very much the same way that kids will all make a pact to jump into a frigid swimming pool on the count of three to ensure that nobody dives in alone and looks a fool, Azazel makes a pact with the other angels. “Let us do this thing together,” they say, “that none of us will bear the punishments alone.”

And they do.

The angels, the sons of God, come down and father a race of hybrids. A race of weird hybrids. Hybrids that are very sexually degenerate and tend to feast on human skin. Angels, you must remember, are a very diverse group. We tend to think of them as just “dudes with wings” but it’s a lot more complex than that. Aquinas even went so far at one place (if memory serves) to suggest that the term “angel” is about as specific as the term “mammal”, meaning, not very specific at all. A whole range of creatures from beluga whales to kangaroos are included under the heading of “mammal” and so, likewise, “angel” encompasses a wide range of entities. Some of these beings appear to have been “over” or “governing” specific species on earth, animals and plants and so on, and so their offspring with human women got… a bit weird. Yes, most of the Nephilim seem to have just been giant humanoids, albeit with deformities, like a single eye or six digits on the hands (Goliath’s brother had six fingers and six toes on each appendage). but some, from the historical record of their descriptions in myth and art have, well… animal parts? It’s all a bit strange honestly. In any case these beings, due to their size and strength are regarded as demigods, or even as gods outright, and come to rule the kingdoms of men and even to be worshiped by mankind. Gilgamesh, for example, was one of the Nephilim. As was Hercules and many others you have heard of. The “heroes” or “mighty men of renown” that still come down to us through legend. Remember, according to the Epic of Gilgamesh the man was 11 cubits tall. That’s 17 feet! A big man. Toss in supernatural athletic ability and intelligence to the mix and it’s not hard to see how such a person would be seen as a god-king.

Mesopotamian Nephilim

Do you doubt me? That’s okay. Many of you probably consider yourselves Christian but have never heard any of this. I understand. It’s perfectly natural, as I said, you probably weren’t taught any of this in Sunday School as it makes you somewhat unfit for polite society to believe.

Nonetheless it’s plainly there in scripture.

"Noah was a just man & perfect in his generations; Noah walked with God."

— Genesis 6:9

Perfect in his generations. His lineage. His genes.

See, the Nephilim (the children of the fallen angels) themselves fathered children, making 1/4th fallen angel 3/4ths human babies. Those babies would grow up and have kids too, making 1/8th fallen angel 7/8ths human babies. And so forth and so on. The Bible heavily implies that the reason The Flood needed to happen is because, after a while, most of the population of earth was no longer fully human.

But Noah was.

Perfect in his generations.

Yes he was a good man and all, and that helped, but he was chosen primarily because of his ancestry. He was picked to survive the flood because he was one of the last people left who was fully human, with no angelic admixture. Afterall, God had created the Earth to be peopled by human beings, not hybrid monsters. The Allfather let the intermingling go on as long as he could stomach but, eventually, decided he had to pull the plug. He flooded the Earth and killed most (though not all, as stated "there were Nephilim in those days - and also afterwards -") of the hybrids. Noah and his family were then told to go forth and to “be fruitful and multiply.” Essentially, they were told to go and populate the Earth with actual full blooded humans. The way God intended.

Seed war.

See?

Christianity is about a genetic seed war between Man and a fallen contingent of otherworldly beings called Angels.

In fact, most of the story of the Israelites in the Old Testament is about them going around and mopping up the remnants of the Giants. You think Goliath was tall by accident? That his height has no other significance to the plot? No no. The implication is that Goliath and his people possess angelic admixture. That they are remnants of the Nephilim. And Goliath is far from the only giant the Israelites face. In fact the entire taking of the promised land is a war against Giants who are so large they make the Israelites “feel like grasshoppers.” There is talk in the scriptures about going to war with men the size of cedar trees and other such things. This is also why God prohibits the Israelites from marrying outside their tribe. Often construed as a racist commandment, it might be more correct to say that it’s ‘species-ist.” God was trying to keep a tribe of people fully human long enough to birth his Son Jesus as a fully human person.

So in actually a lot of the criticism people make about the God of the Old Testament being over-violent sort of misses the point in my opinion. God mostly isn’t depicted as ordering the genocide of other humans but of hybrid giant monster peoples. This makes the story a bit different. I think anyway. I say mostly because off-hand I’m not 100% certain there isn’t an exception in there somewhere but, for the most part, the shocking violence God directs in the Bible is aimed at these tribes with angelic genetics.

“Okay Yoshi,” I hear you say, “sure, that might be the mytho-historic backdrop in which the Bible is set. Fine. But that’s not what the religion is about today. Today it’s about being a good person, praying a bit, doing a potluck and a community fish fry.” And yeah. I’d agree with you. Most of Christianity has become that, a sort of neutered version of its former self with no sense of the actually supernatural. However, in so far as there are still Christians who care about stuff like demons and demonic influence, it’s actually a religion still about the same thing as it was in Noah’s time.

Exactly the same thing actually.

Why?